I just had this huge fight with some of my best friends over gmail chat. Av posted a quetion directed at me adn then she made a series of marks that got me really mad for no reason. I can't stand when people start to txt me or chat with me with replies of just "good" or a ton of marks. It just pisses me off. And I totally exploded in front of my friends (four of them were there- including Av). Then Baz/Trili went "wow" and so did Alex/bbjbj and yuiki/Bluey.
I'm so sorry, everyone. I had to explode. It just annoys me when people don't talk of things that matter, give short answers without giving an opening to a conversation. It just annoys me.
After that, Baz/Trili said "Zelda isn't something of importance" onto which I exploded a bit more. I went invisible and excluded myself from teh chat. I couln't take any more of this. I then wrote an apology note to Av. I knew she was invisible. I just knew. As one excellent book once told me, "You have nothing to lose if you apologise, adn everyhting to lose if you don't." I'm a person who honestly admits her mistakes. You all know that with very frequent apology letters.
And then, today I had "Take A Look Through My Eyes" stuck in my head. Only Alya would know why it had asuch a paining effect on me. She had to yet move to San Antonio when we were both obsessed head to toe in Warrior Cats. If you've never read it, I highly recommend the series. Ask me for a book. I'm happy to loan. We found AlliKatNya on YouTube adn she was making an animated series of it. We watched it, memorized each song, every movement, every pan of teh animated camera, every line adn verse.... etc... And it was both teh worst adn the happiest time of my life. It was in November, I remember teh cold, and it was fifth grade. Me and Alya were attached to Warriors of teh Forest by teh hip. And that song was one of teh songs used in it.
It pained me becuase.. I miss my childhood. That's why I may eb sad. Maybe that's why I'm acting like a little kid, being all happy, singing songs badly, and being sad because I'm missing Halloween for the second year. My mom decided to amke my dad a present by going to Denver for Halloween (meh dad's bday) to visit our cousins. I was happy at first, since one of teh cousins was a gamer fellow like me, only a year older. But then mom found out that they were leaving for a cruise the same time that we were gonna be in Denver. And this time I don't even have my YP-T10 to comfort me (last time I was in Denver I never let go of my T10 (its an mp3player)). And last eyar we were in Las Vegas as yet another of my dad's bday requests. Let me say that I do nawt want to be in Las Vegas for another good 10 years.
So here's my huge depressd thing. Now the only thing to accompany me to Denver is my phone, which is old and crappy. I don't even use that word. Crappy. What a stupid horrible word.
Another realization that came to me was that life isn't an adventure. Whenever you set out to do something, there isnt' epic music playing, or the camera sidescrolling, or anything (ex: when you leave Outset Island in WW, when link goes to Termina Field in MM and is banged on teh head by Tatl, teh new fairy, for being so "cool", like Tristen in teh movie Stardust when he goes out of the wall, searching for that falled star.). You just set out. And people who are normal just don't have adventures. And as I've also learned, those who don't want adventures get them. So that basically means in about 15 years all my friends will be some sorts of famous people doing amazing discoveries while I sit and mop floors at McDonalds. Yay for me.
Dangit the tears are comin. I wish we human beings never had tears. Then no one would know how you feel at a certain moment. but then, it would be better to have no feelings. You won't feel any positive, but at least teh negative won't be ther to pester you either.
I wonder if this would quialify as an English essay. Good views on life, he would say. Oh just HAFTD Mr.Clark. "Rest in peace, will ya?" -link, Majora's Mask.
Sometimes life strucks you happy (before French class beofre break on Wednesday- Xtizzle and Bluey are witnesses) adn sometimes it makes you just plain mad. Stupid life. Stupid philosophical me.
But fat stupid failiure.
